Dear Polly, Recently one of my best friends since childhood started dating my sister (whom I am also super close with).They seem pretty serious about each other and I want to be okay with it, but I’m having a really hard time with it.If things go really well, when you eventually tell him, he will still be mad that all of this was going on behind closed doors.
It just feels like betrayal, like my friend chose my sister over me.That’s totally normal and healthy and you’re happy for them, but it’s kind of sad for you, and it’s really sad to think of two of the people I’m closest with in the world becoming a little less close to me because their primary person is /will now be each other. It doesn’t to them because when my friend and I were living at our parents’ houses and hanging out with each others’ families, I always went to her house. But she is someone who I would describe as being “like a sister to me” so it is so gross that she is dating my actual sister. Normally we would talk constantly about sex and love and dating, and now… Firstly, I have this super negative primal response, so I told them from the beginning I did not want to be involved, but phrased it more diplomatically as like, “It puts me in a weird position,” which is also very true.Kind of related, but in the worst part of myself, I’m sure I’m jealous they’ve found love. You know how annoying people are when they first start dating someone they really like and want to gush about them and how amazing they are and they don’t actually really know each other that well yet, so they fill in any blanks with more amazingness?Dating your friend’s younger sister is about as much of a violation of Guy Code as you’re going to find anywhere, and it is his job as a friend and man to own up to the situation.
My "little" sister and her friends are now in their mid-20s, and one of her friends is exactly the kind of woman I'm looking for.
I can't really have my friend over anymore, because she just ends up hanging out with my sister.