One of the main causes of developing such a fear is the role of parents and parental figures in childhood.
Death of a parent or divorce might lead to abandonment issues which might continue to plague a person well into their adulthood.
What first needs to be understood is that the fear of abandonment is very different from feeling insecure, or feeling left out in all the relationships in your life.
It is the complete conviction that when someone abandons you, you will not be able to carry on without them.
It’s up to the new interest to prove to them that they aren’t.
They may not express it but they need to see a great amount of effort in order to believe you’re not the same.
This is natural, but if we are frightened of what we need then this avoidance in itself makes us unhappy...'Fear of abandonment' is a bit vague, isn't it?
Your worst fear being, being dumped by the other person. I'd be standing on a rain swept street corner - utterly alone - totally abandoned, lost... I never knew him, but by all accounts he showed signs of emotional insecurity throughout his life. When he was four, his mother had walked out on him, his three brothers, and father, saying she was "off to get some milk" (aka "I'm off to be with my lover! For years after, my grandfather always somehow hoped the appearance of fresh milk in the house would signify the imminent return of his mother – which, of course, it never did.Psychological and mental problems are often dismissed as not problems at all, which only reinforces them and makes the condition worse.
One such psychological problem is the fear of abandonment, which can affect your life more profoundly than you care to admit.
So you see, when you’re not certain about this, you refrain from relationships altogether.