But in today’s world, where divorce is the norm, you might want to reconsider. A divorced man is likely to already have made mistakes in the past that an unmarried guy may not yet have experienced. Make sure you’ve got someone who admits to past mistakes and wants to do better in the future. Your initial reaction to the idea of dating a divorced man might simply be – No thanks! The advantage of dating someone who has already been “down-the-aisle” is that in many aspects of our lives – we make mistakes, learn from them and try NOT to repeat them in the future.Any advice would be wonderful- thanks in advance for your response!
"The implication here is that your friend did something wrong or that her relationship was somehow lacking," says Helen Friedman, Ph D, a psychologist in private practice in St. "Avoid finger-pointing and inadvertently 'blaming' her for his actions." A wiser idea: Recognize the complexity of what happened with "situations like this don't make sense."You may think you'll cheer up your friend with someone else's horror story that seems worse than hers, but this discredits her own experience. According to a Rutgers University study, 56% of men who have affairs claim to be happy in their marriages.Fact #1: Most men are still in love with their wives when they cheat.Perhaps you feel your friend should never again trust the person who was unfaithful to her.
"But this type of all-encompassing comment leaves no room for the possibility of the situation getting better," says Dr. "You're squashing all hope, when, in fact, some relationships do heal and improve with work." Instead, focus on her present state of mind and acknowledge the intense pain she's experiencing by saying something like, "I can't even imagine how you must feel."The reasons people cheat vary, ranging from immaturity to compulsive sexual behavior.
"My first husband cheated on me with a childhood friend," says Diane* from New York City.