As a result these now grownup children tend to be attracted to people who, they feel, need them. So is beginning an answer to a friend who asks your view on something with: "Well, John thinks..." or "John says..." "Codependents are caring people; they just care beyond the bounds of reason," explains Tina Tessina, Ph D, psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex and Kids.In a codependent relationship, one partner is unable to say no or set boundaries that keep the relationship mutually respectful (for example, one partner makes all the decisions about vacations).In fact, it's ALL OF THE OTHER PEOPLE in my life with the issues, and I'm stuck cleaning up their messes."I didn't think I was a codependent person either, until I was slammed into reality one night in a Barnes & Noble aisle.There I was, sprawled under the four shelves labeled 'Addiction', desperately thumbing through each book with shiny streaks down my face.No one just wakes up one day, looks at her partner and thinks that his happiness is more important than her own.Not surprisingly, in many cases, codependency has its roots in childhood.
Read on to learn what you need to know about codependent relationships, how to figure out if you need help and where to find it.When people innocently asked me how I was, I started to sob. And yet the answer I found that night completely changed the course of my life.